Straight passing but being gay! Transition identity crisis advice!

2021.10.17 21:11 LostEntity87 Straight passing but being gay! Transition identity crisis advice!

So I have been in a gay relationship for 13 years with the same man. I have always been androgynous presenting however as I got older and looked more 'manly' I could not cope with those changes and have had a some surgery to fix the masculinisation so I look more fem.
I started hormones in January and the results have been drastic but I have been happy with them. My hair is longer and most of the time I am happy with moving forward.
I do not identify with being male, female or non binary, I am just me. The world sees me as being female which is fine and my partner seems fine with that too.
Pronouns do not matter to me so people refer to me as he, him, she and her. I just do not care but in the right situations they gender me to how I look for my safety.
Where it gets complicated, although I do not identify with any gender (I know gender and sexuality are different) I do not identify as a man (or a woman) however I do identify as being gay, it is so confusing to me.
My partner says he is happy with the way I am but I worry that eventually he will not look at me in the same way due to my outward look. I am having further Facial Feminsation in a week and I wonder whether he will be happy with staying with me. Our friends are all gay men and I have mixed in those groups like forever. None of them know about me growing my hair or going further with surgery as we have only spoke on the phone via message since before covid. And I wont be seeing them again until new year!
Even though I do not identify as a man or woman, to the outside world I appear as a straight passing woman but I am gay! I am so conflicted with everything and do not know what perspective will help me get over this hurdle and I feel like I am damaging my mental health!
Last night I had a massive anxiety attack and was ready to throw the towel in with everything, cancel the surgery, stop hormones and just be a stereotypical gay man which would make me unhappy again!
I still want to be with my partner, I still want to fit into the queer gay spaces I feel I belong in and am part of however transitioning is making me feel like I will no longer be welcome in those spaces and I fear what effect this will have on my partner, especially as we appear as a straight passing couple, but we are not!
Does anyone have any other perspectives or any advice on this situation? Any transitioners who felt the same and still access those safe gay spaces with no discrimination?
Thank you in advance for any help and advice you may be able to offer xx
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2021.10.17 21:11 Global_Maize_8944 Address registration, marital status, and taxation in Germany.

I have come to Germany for work. My wife has accompanied me. Few days again ago we went for registration. We filled a single form : Ummeldung - Familie. After the appointment the Burgerburo we received two meldebestätigung: one in my wife's name and one in my name. The lady there did not ask for our marriage certificates. Did we register as husband and wife or as singles? Is there a way to confirm this? We have not received tax number or tax ID yet.
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I was having a conversation with my new boyfriend yesterday and he said he liked me first because I was bright, intelligent and that he “liked to admire how beautiful I was”
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